who keeps you in check? (and not the clothing kind)

who keeps you in check? (and not the clothing kind)

Hello everyone,

How is it halfway through the year already? Time feels like those extra pounds that just creep up on you and before you know it, you’re two sizes bigger than you were when you said you’ll aim for your summer body .

I was listening to a podcast and the host mentioned the quote ‘you are a summary of the 5 people closest to you’ and I thought this was quite interesting . I mean to be honest , my first thought was people have 5 friends? Wow. After thinking more rationally about it, I realised that there was no mention of friendship in the quote and its obvious that I always have friendship on the brain.

Anyway, after listening to this podcast , I begun to have a conversation with myself (like every normal person obviously does) and I looked back at decisions I had made and the trajectory of my life so far. What would it have been like if I was born into a completely different family? what if I chose different friends? How exactly have these circumstances led me to the person that I am today? I can’t really speak about family because you don’t choose the family you are born into and I love them. However, when it comes to friends, I’ve always tried to be selective about the people I actually call my friends. This is probably because growing up , I was always told ‘show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are’.

Having said that, I don’t know if this was the entire reason. Looking through the friendships I’ve had over the years, its apparent that I usually go for people who are a bit more sensible than myself because let’s be honest, I have a tendency to exist in la la land and it’s good to surround with people who are a bit more grounded in reality. This is why I’m not sure I believe in the veracity of the ‘show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are’ quote. I think its more like ‘show me your friends and I’ll show you who you want to be’. who knows? perhaps I’m wrong.

The point is that I think as we adventure through life, it doesn’t really help if everyone around you is exactly the same as you, because then everything is approached from the ┬ásame perspective and as far as I’m concerned, this doesn’t aid growth in any way. With me, I have my family’s voice in my ear to keep me in check when my morals threaten to run away from me. Granted, I don’t exactly agree with everything they think but I think it’s important to have people who will hold you accountable if you make dodgy decisions. Obviously ‘dodgy’ is subjective but you get the gist of it. There’s also my friends who help me see life through a more sensible lens and also just different lenses in general. I don’t think any of my friends are so similar to me in a way that a conversation with them won’t illuminate an issue in a different way and I absolutely love that. Obviously we’re not extremely different because that would probably be a problem but different enough is a good thing in my book.

Even when it comes to romantic relationships, I think there might be some truth in the whole ying to your yang thing. My boyfriend and I have the same idea about the big things in life and all that good stuff but our execution is quite different. I think that these little differences make us bounce off each other very well. I make sure that he still makes time for silly, fun things and embraces life more and he makes sure that I do more planning than impulsive actions.

All in all, its good to have some sort of human ‘moral’ compass because whether you’re religious or not, there’s nothing quite like an actual human being like ‘are you daft?’ to make you think twice about texting your ex and other such important decisions.



  1. Bilikiz
    June 25, 2018 / 5:31 am

    Are you daft ? I said that in a Nigerian voice! Epic! ?

    • theadalifestyle
      June 25, 2018 / 7:24 am

      ???? Thanks for reading babe xx

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